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Psychology > True Happiness

2011-11-01T12:52:00.011+08:00

True Happiness...... Is it Wealth, Good Look & Fame?

YES & agree that Wealth....Good Look....& Fame....give us the Ultimate Happiness.

However, these happiness do not last, fluctuating & can guarantee that it do not satisfied oneself....& always in search of great true happiness. The more people have the more they acquire... this is normal human behavior. This will then lead to STRESS in protecting what they acquired and have in possession. The major problem is when they can't stop asking seeking for more & more, not knowing how to appreciate moderate wealth living in moderate lifestyle.

People start compare themself with others to be better looking and taking extreme measures, extreme makeovers just to look good to reach the ideal looking. This is unhealthy, too obsess and became psychologically disorder on what reflected on the mirror. This is the result of low self-esteem, they should learn to accept themselve and walk out on the streets looking good, present themselve nicely, moderately with shine of happiness from within.

Some think that fame can bring them long lasting happiness, well knowned on the streets & all over the world but in matter of fact they are just like a gold fish in a fish bowl with limited water space place on the table, in the house, in the country and in the entire real world....isn't that a small space to live in with no peace, while God have given them the unlimited space to venture the entire world instead.

Lets find out & learn the four (4) critical relationships that lead to TRUE HAPPINESS.

Relationship with,

God (ALLAH).

Yourself.

Family (Others).

Community/Society.

in the next blog....

fr Haleh Banani (MA Clinical Psychology)

Psychology Journal

2011-10-27T13:43:00.006+08:00

Life matters...

True Happiness...... Is it Wealth, Good Look & Fame? > Learn the four (4) crucial relationships.

Anger........Are you constantly exerting bad & hot temper & losing the relationship? > Learn the tools to control anger and gain patience.

Depression .......Are you or love one are dwon with spiral depression? > Learn the cause & how to overcome it.

Communication with other.....Do you want to teach other about Islam but do not know how to connect with them? > Learn the powerful tools to build rapport and positively influence others.

Friendship........has a huge impact in our life. > Learn how to choose friends that help you to reach new height and learn how to be a true friend.

Set Goals.....Maximise your full potential & reach new scale by setting realistic & achieveable goals.

fr Haleh Banani (MA Clinical Psychology)

So Hard to Save....

2010-01-08T09:16:00.003+08:00

Why is it so hard to save?

Blame the brain...

Ten over reasons for not saving but there will be only 1 simple reasons seem to pen down when ask why save?.....this is common from those who simply has difficulty in saving a single cents from the pocket & live on the cycle passing each day just like that....waiting for the next Big Day to arrived graciously....begin spending most in less than 3 days.

Claimed "I juz cn't save, ...lots of things to settle....Major 'C' - CARS, CONDO, CREDITCARD...more"

Y?...Y?...Y? Basically, its the attitude & discipline that send the message to the brain, set & programe all by individual mind, body & soul.

Many other things in life that we can achieved but saving dollar & cents simply sound easy yet difficult to accomplish.

Even with many good financial advice and techniques laid down on paper for us to follow but failed with great disappointment. For all these matters..some says.."Blame the brain..."

Its really unfair to a soft tender meat "BRAIN" that developes active cells for us to be named as human with great intellectual ability yet unveal this reality of failing to save in life long activity.

Knowledge of saving is world widely reachable, easily understood and simply adaptable to follow simple instruction with the right set of attitude & discipline.

Many professional financial advisors available actively and willing to share & deliver right content of techniques from easy to multi-level of difficulty and risks.

It all depend on you...so don't blame the brain instead. Use your brain to help achieve your dream "Start saving $$$$ & discipline yourself".

We'll share some points on how to start simple steps and accomplish....Let be happy about it!

Child Learning Style

2009-01-15T22:03:00.000+08:00

How Our Child Learns.

What we learn depends a lot on how we learn. Not all kids’ process information the same way, and the key to helping our child excel in school is to understand how they learn.

In short “Learning Style” is the channel that kids use to organise information in their brain.

Some kids are visual learners. They work best when they can watch or read the subjects.
Others are more auditory. They need to hear, speak and discuss a subject in order to process it quickly.
Another is called kinesthetic. These are the children who learn faster when they move around, flexing their muscles.
And tactual learners work best when utilising small motor muscles. These kids if we notice are likely to tap their pencils or twirl their hair while doing homework.

Understanding how our child learns help to make informed decisions regarding their education.

Good Parenting Technique?

2009-01-14T10:31:00.000+08:00

Hang in there, Parents.

It seem like being a good parent is getting tougher and tougher these days. Of course, it’s never been all that easy.

For the very first thing, baby born into the real world with no instructions, and parent have to try assembled all needs on their own. There are also maddeningly complex and have no guaranteed formulas that will work in every instance. The successful techniques with one child can fail miserably with another.

Today if parent are struggling hard to raise their child with lots of frustration, cheer up and start reading all about parenting. Keep going, learn as you go along, and tackle every little matter with heart to successfully mend the right mind and soul having the parent- child relation strongly intact.

Give ourselves a pat on the back, try our best to tenderly guide our children through rough waters of childhood and love each and every one of them with the best we can.

There is no such thing as a perfect parent or perfect kids. But remember, the LOVE, CARE and COMMITMENT will make us the best parent our child will ever have.

Preparing Child for Kindergarten.

2009-01-13T09:17:00.000+08:00

As your child's first day of school creeps up, you will both experience different feelings. You're excited that he/she's old enough to start school. At the same time, you wonder if he/she will adjust to the new routine.

Your child may also be excited. But if he/she's never spent time away from you he/she may feel a bit overwhelmed by the prospect. Similarly, for a child who is already in a childcare setting, spending part of her day in junior or senior kindergarten may pose some new challenges. A new and unfamiliar routine and teacher may take some getting used to.

Whether it's your child's first time away from you or he/she's making the transition from childcare to school, here are 13 tips you can do to help make the move easier.

1. Talk about the new routine.
Talk to your caregiver about the new routine when school starts. Share this with your child so he is prepared for the change.

2. Talk about what won't change.
Prior to school starting, both you and your caregiver can talk about kindergarten, providing reassurance by reminding your child about all the things that will still be the same.

3. Visit the school in advance.
If possible, during the summer, visit the school your child will be attending. If there is a playground, you may even want to spend some time there letting her play to become familiar with the environment.

4. Find out the name of your child's teacher.
School administrative offices are often open before the first day of school and may be able to provide you with some information.

5. Ease your child into class.
Ask the school if you can visit during the first week perhaps staying for the first hour or until your child seems settled.

6. Reassure your child that you will be back.
Make sure your child knows who will pick her up when school finishes. An anxious child may want to know exactly when that will be. Offer a cue from the routine, for instance: "After you clean up the room you will hear the bell ring and you will know it's time to go home. We'll be waiting to pick you up."

7. Be enthusiastic about school.
Talk about the wonderful things he will be doing at school – making friends, different kinds of art and play activities and of course learning. This should be done at home with you as well as with your child's caregiver.

8. Help your child find friends from school.
Find other children in the neighbourhood attending school. Your caregiver can help. Talk about them noting how much they enjoy school. Schedule some play dates in advance and have at least one familiar face.

9. Share your own stories.
Talk about some of your own stories about school – what was it like for you when you started. If there are older siblings have them join in also.

10. Get ready together.
Include her in the preparation for school. This can be as simple as deciding on snacks to send each day or buying school supplies. Including her will make her feel that this day is special and it really is all about her.

11. Share the excitement of growing up.
Starting school is often seen as a sign of being a "big boy". Talk to your child about how he feels about school. Being a "big boy" may be just what he wants or the prospect may be overwhelming. Be sensitive to his feelings and gently continue to talk about the wonderful things that happen at school.

12. Create a neighborhood walking bus.
If there are other children in the neighborhood who your child knows and will be attending the same school you may want to walk to school together giving a sense of community to your child even away from his home.

13. Make a special exhibit at home.
Set up a special place at home where your child will be able to display work that comes home from school. Even before school starts you can decorate this space together.

Star in our child!

2009-01-12T23:07:00.000+08:00

Look for the star in your child.

Some parent refer to their child as the ‘Apple’ of their eye, while one mother I came across affectionately thinks of her kids as the ‘STAR’ in the apple.

She explained, one day she cuts an apple horizontally across the middle instead of coring it and slicing it in wedges from the top to bottom, something new and striking appeared.

A perfect 5-points star was formed by the tiny seeds at the centre. The star had been there all along but she had never seen it because she always approached the apple from a different angle and points of view.

Most of us as parent look at the kids in a certain way. Usually see them, perhaps as lazy, irritating or demanding. But children are infinitely complex, and parent may be overlooking qualities of character that never be seen before.

However, do try to see each child through fresh eyes every now and then, parent may stumble onto a whole new wonderful dimension to the child personalities that escaped before.

So, let starts looking at our child in new different angle and views. There is promising discovery of hidden star light and bright in every boy and girl.

Teaching independence.

2008-12-30T14:31:00.000+08:00

How does a child learn to handle freedom and independence?
It takes a precise calculated effort by parents.

Teaching a child to deal with independence and freedom is like getting your child to move down from a height with just a single rope, pulling off the rope little by little till the child is safe to the ground.

When do you think a child can be tested for independent and freedom?
Some parents teach their child being independent and have freedom to decide when a child turns 10 yrs old. Letting them travel to and from school using public transport, within a given time is one of the most common effort. Parent engaged in building trust between both parties.

Other would go for short 3 days getaway leaving their teenage child/children at home to manage the house and began to have time management to do everything they wish to accomplish within the period with no one watching over them. Definitely, all safety measures must strongly explain and seriously considered.

These prepare them to be independent as they may soon leave for university having to manage everything themselves.

Parent has to make this effort to prepare their child to test the water of freedom as they grow up, learn to build trust between parent and child before letting them into total independence.

When they are on their own, they will be able to handle it with full responsibility and be wise to make own decision.

Total Change of Perspective

2008-12-03T22:32:00.000+08:00

Knowing career women whose lives once completely revolved around their daytime jobs.

At work, they could get more done by noon than most people did all day and while others just geting started, they move from one task to the next without skipping a beat. Reward with high competencies to uphold many key performance indicator (KPI), managed and delivered very well all that multi-tasking scope of work as required.

When they decide to have kids and all a sudden there will be a definite changed. Days that were once taken up by high-powered meetings were instead spent feeding and diapering their new baby. PDA has been replaced by baby bottle.

Now these women are much happier then ever, being able to list priorities, understand the meaningful life and create family bonding.

Its more tougher if they decided to be stay home Mum. But this decision will now be more important than a million corporate takovers and they knew it very well.

Total change of perspective!

Darkness Phobia

2008-11-30T19:10:00.000+08:00

Darkness Phobia

Child who's fear of the dark, bedtime can literally become a nightmare and bad exposure.

Very sure you've heard about mother who had to sit beside her young child's bed every night until the child fell into their deep sleep. They will react in fear to any little movement when they aren't asleep.

Many mother would then assume that the child just need little extra attention as it was dark, but time after time it became clear that the child wasn't lying and has been terrified being in the dark.

There are many possibilities to why each child fear of the darkness. Its norm that we grew up having a little fear of the dark due to its uncertainty in many form of horror imagination. Several terrifying movies, exposed to various scary facial appearance and some funny little tease or surprises that happened within the darkness can bring oneself into developing serious darkness phobia.

A simple experience I encountered when I was 6 years old growing up in fear of darkness till today. My elder sister pounced on me from behind when I was walking along a dark corridor. Horrified by her sound and appearance, I ran away shouting and crying in fright and shivered. That funny gesture turn ugly when scolded by father and was warned not to repeat such act to anyone again. Then I always feel that darkness isn't always empty!

Children aren't born with such fears in them but has developed in times with bad darkness experience.

Therefore, advice all parent to ensure that their child knows that not all teasing is harmless, even if they thought and seem funny at time.

Looking Back Yet Moving Forward

2008-11-23T11:57:00.000+08:00

Looking Back ...

Most people tend to spend too much time worrying and thinking about how to create good future while not having enough time to look back on memorable events spent with family and friends.

Freeze awhile focusing on what you wish to have or gain instead continue to celebrate what you have already had and enjoy the moment you have with family members and friends.

Even if you are all alone, think back and write some notes of what you've had and achieved.

It is important to set aside regular time sitting down and recall the greatest things ever happen and laugh a loud or simply smile. Have a thought of those people you misses and write about the memory you've had. Think of all funny gestures you've made or the person you think was making funny things around. Remember all surprises you've had.

It is healthy for married couple to talk about the first place they met, the first house they purchased and the fun you both had decorating together. Pick a picture from the album and talk about that happy moment and all the candid actions. Hang family photos around the house.

Having children will make a complete family. Play with your children. Get everyone involve and enjoy the childs play. Play simple game, play with the toys you've bought for your childs. Be childish, giggles and laugh along.

Set a date night watching old movies and make pop-corn instead of going out. Recall all great times on vacation and all friends you've made.

Reflecting the past will strenghten your families ties and great future. Stop worrying!

Right Career?

2008-11-20T11:44:00.000+08:00

Right Choice!

Born with an ideal career?

Businessman, Doctor, Engineer, Lawyer, Stock Broker, with the predisposition to be one or just a matter of identifying an inborn talent?

If nature alone does not have a predominant role in determining the right career, then this lead into play a vast range of possibilities such as Upbringing, Social environment, Role Models, Opportunities and Knowledge gain which access and contribute to the shaping and development of personality.

A person has the potential to make radical change in the choice of career with exposure to new experience and training.

Fulfilling the requirements for a job involves many different aspects, including specialized training and management skills, propensity for preserverance and teamwork, workplace climate and scope of work for an individual to perform and excel.

Differences in any of these variables would give a strong impact on an individual personality to perform each task. Multitasking also contribute to various fluctuation of performance which not every one has the ability and capability to outshine as accordingly or as expected by higher management.

Jobs can be classified in several different ways. Mostly outdoor or indoor, dealing with equipment, documents, people, animals, metals, earth or agriculture.

The nature ofthe work can be clerical, technical, professional, managerial, trade and business. Specialist skills are required ranging from excellent psychomotor coordination to a keen nose, spatial conceptualisation, mathematical ability and abstract reasoning.

There are certain values and qualities needed inorder to fitly position one in each task and the workplace. Such as patience, preserverance, desire to produce high quality output or result, capacity for collaboration in teamwork, enggage in lifelong learning, setting high achievement goals, having an agreeable temperament without compromising on discussion and disagreement appropriately.

There are several ways understanding personality differences. It isimportant to acquire skills to work effectively in the global job market perspectives, be competitive, except changes and deliver high quality output.

Lastly, its also important to appreciate and respect different cultural, religious and ethnic practices.

2008-11-20T11:21:00.001+08:00

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